Teen Trauma

The most important thing a parent can do is to love their children and be solid and consistant. Let’s explore what each of these three things really mean.

Love your children - Most parents do love their children, but is that enough? No. Your children must know and feel down to the core that they are loved. Children can be very trying sometimes and it’s easy for a parent to become frustrated and angry at times. In those cases it’s difficult for a parent not to lash out and maybe do or say things in the heat of the moment. When that happens the parent gets their chance to vent and knows that they didn’t mean to take it out in that way. The problem is that the child takes the words or actions at face value, not understanding it’s just venting and that the parent really didn’t mean it. If you find yourself doing this stop immediately and talk to your child about it and reassure them. Learn to control yourself and you’ll be able to better control your child.

Be solid - What this means is that your child needs to know that you are there for them and as much as is possible, will be there for them. These days many parents are single parents and that presents two potential problems. One is the single parent may spend time away from their children due to having to work, the other is that parents get lonely too and often go out with friends or date. If you’re lucky you may be able to work the hours your child is in school, or work at home, if not you’ve got to make the time available be quality time with the children. That means don’t just be home with them, but do things with them, talk to them, make them feel that they are worth your time and they are important to you. I have strong feelings about dating and going out when you have kids and those are that an occasional date is OK, or once in while meeting friends over dinner and a drink is OK. If you’re dating one person try to include your children in a zoo trip or picnic. You’ve got to make those you date understand that you are a parent and you and your children come as a package, together.

It’s never alright to let your kids see you come home drunk, to go out to bars often, or to bring different dates home regularly. You decided to bring the kids into the world so deal with it.

Be consistent - Discipline only works when the rules are clear enough to the child so that they understand what’s expected of them. The same goes with the consequences of breaking the rules. Do not discipline out of anger, and make sure they know why they are being punished.

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